


Missed Opportunities

by orphan_account



Series: Haikyuu Drabbles [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Accidental Confession, Emotional Hurt, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Secret Crush, tsukkiyamafest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:07:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25066648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Maybe if I say it out loud to myself it would make more sense.”With his school clothes and watch in the locker room, Yamaguchi paid no attention to the time he had left but focused on his rambling thoughts. If he had known that Tsukishima’s hesitant footsteps stood outside he would have stopped talking, but he was now fully engrossed with his thoughts.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Series: Haikyuu Drabbles [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1815427
Comments: 11
Kudos: 93





	Missed Opportunities

Nimble hands shakily held the ball. Despite his valiant efforts, today Yamaguchi's jump serve was a mess. Whether it was because of his timing, power, or aim, he had been failing for what seemed like forever. He told himself he would remain patient, considering that he only had an hour in the gym before it was Tsukkishima’s turn for private practice. 

The pinch server wanted to take advantage of his time, but he knew the root of his failed attempts wouldn’t be fixed in one private practice. In truth, the high schooler was in the wrong headspace to practice. His legs felt like lead. How he managed to get out of bed this morning was still a mystery to himself.

Because you see, Yamaguchi wasn’t failing his jump serve because of timing, power, or aim. He was failing because of her. Three days prior Tsukishima unwillingly introduced the team to the girl he was with as his girlfriend. The words still stung in Yamaguchi’s mouth. Since then she’s been the talk of the town for Karasuno’s volleyball team. How this quiet, kind, girl was able to weave her way in the middle of it all was beyond him. But the way Tsukki looks at her makes him feel as if she’s here to stay.

It was ridiculous to feel this way, he told himself, now sitting on the gym floor with the ball on his lap. He let out a sigh, practice would be no use if he was in the wrong headspace. “It was only a matter of time.” He said aloud. Figuring he had the whole gym to himself, he gladly gave in to his habit of talking to himself. “Maybe if I say it out loud to myself it would make more sense.” 

With his school clothes and watch in the locker room, Yamaguchi paid no attention to the time he had left but focused on his rambling thoughts. If he had known that Tsukishima’s hesitant footsteps stood outside he would have stopped talking, but he was now fully engrossed with his thoughts.

“I mean, I've stuck with him since middle school. He was bound to get tired of me at some point.” He laughed solemnly, eyes on the volleyball he absentmindedly rolled around the polished floor. He stopped the volleyball abruptly and groaned. “But it still sucks.” He bit his lip, cursing at himself for not being able to get a grip on his emotions. “Was I too boring? Or not interesting enough?” He pondered over it, now switching his speech as if he was talking to his best friend. “I know I follow you like a lost puppy but I’m not stupid. I can tell when you’re sick of me.” 

The blonde wistfully moved closer to the vents to listen better, his curiosity getting the better of him. He was violating Yamaguchi's privacy, but the matter did concern him and it wasn't as if he was interrupting.. His logic was flawed yet he still stayed to listen.

Tadashi rubbed his face with his palm, sinking his back against the wall, even more, depending on it. “I’m just being childish. You would tell me I'm being ridiculous. I mean, I am. Only I would get jealous like this. It’s not like I put up a fight either. I never confessed to you. You and I both know I’m too chicken to do something so bold.” He laughed now, knowing it was true. Still, it was all bittersweet. 

“So I can’t even hate her. Even without that, I can’t hate her. I mean- she’s wonderful and lively. I mean geez, everyone took a liking to her when she sat in to watch our practice. Because she’s likable and kind. Not to mention beautiful.. I’m sure walking around with her would surely make you feel more confident than walking with me behind you.. My acne scars and all.” He chuckled at the self-deprecating comment before forcing a smile. “I’m sure she makes you happy… Ugh-” He stopped himself, rolling his eyes. “I didn’t mean to sound so insincere. It's just-” He fiddled with his hands, trying to find the right words. “Am I stupid for believing- for wishing that person making you happy was me?”

“Maybe I can play this envy off as jealousy of our friendship being at risk.” He leaned his head back, staring at the high wall. “But you’d see through that dumb lie, wouldn’t you Tsukki?” He sat up straight now, looking at one of the lights. “It’s nice talking out loud like this. It’s the one time I can truthfully tell you how I feel and even better since I know you’re not listening.”

Tsukishima could only feel bad, overhearing it all. How low his confidence was, or his faith in himself. He frowned. Yamaguchi didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve to crush on someone who can't even express himself properly. Tsukishima was firm on believing he wasn’t worthy of Yamaguchi's friendship.

“Bottom line it’s my fault really,” The pinch server continued. “I mean one, for getting such a huge stupid crush on you, and two, for never even telling you. But would you blame me?” He asked particularly no one. “You’re guarded and too cool for my company anyway. I can never tell what you’re thinking. I know our friendship is mutual.. But I can’t help but feel like a bother. I’d try and distance myself from you but absence only makes the heart grow fonder or something like that.” 

He stood up now, wiping the nonexistent dust from his shorts off. Grabbing the volleyball he placed it back in the cart. “I’ll still continue to be your best friend. And I’ll always be supporting you. You’d probably say it’s just some childhood crush I’d get over but... I don’t think you know how much I adore you.” He said in a much quieter and softer tone. “How much I want to be the source of your happiness.. The person you depend on.” 

He ran a hand through his hair, trying to ignore the tears that began to form in his eyes. “But that’s selfish... It’s just- I’ve never seen you look at anyone the way you look at her. And- And-” Talking to himself didn't seem to make the pain swell down, and Yamaguchi reached his limits. Clutching his chest and closing his eyes tight, he sobbed, tears eagerly spilling. “And it hurts! I can’t help but feel like you’re leaving me behind! I just- I wanted to be special to you. I thought I was. I thought we were an inseparable pair.. I feel like I’ve been replaced. I thought no one could get to know you as I did. But I guess that’s too much to ask for from a best friend.” 

He quickly wiped his tears, “But I’m stronger than I look. And I swear, I’m happy for you. I’ll be okay, not that you were worried anyway. Thanks for the talk.” Gaining composure, he finished setting up the net for the next practice session. Remembering he was on borrowed time, he made his way to the door before saying one last thing.

“Gomen, Tsukki.” 

Heading out of the gym to get to the locker room, he was completely unaware of the blonde middle blocker who had been covertly listening from the other side of the building. Mind completely frazzled from newfound information, Tsukishima already knew his solo practice would be even less productive than Yamaguchi's.

**Author's Note:**

> hnnng enjoy? i've never written for haikyuu before but i'm just so in love with the concept. of tsukkiyama. and i love mutual pining/unrequited feelings lol tell me if i should make a pt 2 or not lol


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